Hi everyone! My name is Josh and I am 15 years old (yeah yeah I'm young but I have went through a lot for someone my age). I am a proud gay teen and it has been a while since I last attended a church service. So far in my life, I have belonged to two churches, one was catholic and I went there from since I was born to about 10 years old. I never cared for the catholic church, it always seemed like the same thing every week and our fellow church members weren't too friendly. As far as I remember, they really didn't talk about homosexuality (this was before I knew what it was so I might have missed it) but I know most catholic churches are anti-gay. The second church I attended was a pentecostal church, I went here at about age 13 and stopped going about a year ago. When I started going here, I loved the church people. They were nice and loving and seemd to really like me. But not long after that, the pastor got into preaching about homosexuality, it was then that I lost all my liking for the church. He kept saying things like "homosexuals have no place in the kingdom of God", "he thinks that by allowing gay ministers, the church is falling apart", and finally he said "Hillary Clinton and Ted Kennedy were the top two worst people in the world" and not just them, he said one time that even a supporter of gays are commiting a horrible sin. I endured this for a little over a year and his preaching style wasn't my favorite either (loud (he calls it "hard") preaching), he also talked about things like Halloween is an evil day (which is not true, only the Wicca and devil worshipers use it so, others particulary kids use it as a day to dress up and get free candy, and he condemned my favorite book in the world besides the bible, Harry Potter (which again has no trace of Wicca, black magic in it). Finally I told my parents I can't stand this preacher (they actually agreed because they thought he was too strict even though they are conservative theirselves). So for the past 6 months, I have not attended church. I watch services online ( http://www.cathedralofhope.com/ ) and read about homosexuality/christianity and came to a conclusion that God loves me and he in fact made me this way and I can be gay and christian. But I have no "good" friends to talk to besides God and I would love to go back to church and meet some awesome people, but I am afraid that the same thing will happen again. I saw a commercial about UCC, it was so convincing and lead me to the website, I want to know what to do. I know some UCCs are more conservative and I don't want to be condemned again. Should I try a UCC in my area, my parents probably would too because I recently told them I was gay and they were accepting. I just hope I can find a nice church to make new friends, be involved in the church as myself and not someone I'm not. Thank you for reading this long post! You must be really patient to read this, lol!

Your brother in Christ,

Josh McKenrick

i checked and none within 20 miles are ONA. The nearest one is about 30 miles away and my parents wouldn't drive that far to go to church. I'm scared that if I contact one of them, they'll condemn me and look down on me for even asking. Why does everyone have to be so hostile towards LGBT people? We are children under God too and it just sickens me every time I see a minister on TV comdemn us with such passion. If they would stop the condemning and read more of the bible, they'd see that to judge your neighbor is a sin to God and they are the ones commiting the sin. I don't speak for all christians though, there are many that are helping the LGBT community come to the lord and we are slowly making progress but it just hurts so much to see those stories of expulsion from a christian school for being gay and those sorts. People need to get a grip and start to spread God's love, not damn us to hell! Why can't people be more like Jesus who I know would welcome us to his mistry because he had UNCONDITIONAL love for us which was shown through him willingly dying for us so that we would be saved. And yes, in certain verses of the bible, it seems God condemns homosexuality but that's the message of the UCC, God is still speaking. People act like the bible is the "word" of God and it never changes, not true. God has allowed many things to change so far such as women's rights and slavery and it is has been said even by conservatives that we are no longer under the levitical law (which was only established to stop people from idoltry). And homosexuality is somewhat different then in those times, today it usually (in my case it certainly will) involve loving and commited relationships and may even result in some form of marriage, but I believe in those times, people did it just for the sex and for money (male prostitution). As you can see, I've read a lot of essays and studied the bible, lol. But yeah can't people at least (even if they don't believe it to be right) welcome LGBT people to their churches, if it truly isn't right and it's a sin (which I believe with all my heart is not if it involves commitment, the bible says the same for heterosexual relationships), that's between God and us and is not for them to boast about. Thanks for reading another long post, I just have a lot to say, lol.

Your brother in Christ,

Josh McKenrick

Dear Josh, welcome to i.UCC! I can't begin to tell you how much the story of your faith journey means to us. You are a strong, clear-headed, articulate and faithful young man.

I agree with Barbara: even if a UCC congregation in your area isn't officially listed as "ONA" it still might be a good place for you and your parents. Give them a call. You might be disappointed, but it could be worth the risk.

And know that you and your parents are always welcome here, at i.UCC, which is most definitely an "Open and Affirming" community.

One more thing: please let your parents know that we find their support for you in your journey as a gay Christian who loves the Lord to be AWESOME! The love they've shown you is nothing to be taken for granted, and I know you understand that. I'm gay, too, but when I grew up there was NO ONE ... not my parents, not my school counselor, not my friends ... I could depend on. There was certainly nothing like an "Open and Affirming" church in the entire country. So gays like me in my generation were left to our own devices, which meant that often we were alienated from Jesus Christ, and some of us lost him and never found him again.

I think that when parents like yours encourage their children to love the Lord and hold onto their identity as Christians, they're evidence of a mighty work of the Holy Spirit that is changing lives and making the world (and the church) a better place. 

Andy Lang, i.UCC

Hi, Josh. I've pastored a gay church (completely gay except for me), and I know that when a church is welcoming, people will drive great distances to be there. After all, we're not so thick upon the ground that there's one of us on every corner. In the church I served, people regularly drove up to 2 hours to get there--and it met Sunday evening, so it was often midnight by the time they got home again. My suggestion is that you call the ONA church you found and ask if there are any members who drive from your area. Perhaps you and your parents can hitch a ride some Sunday, just to see what it's all about.

Pastor Barbara

I'm glad you asked Josh.

Before there was an Open and Affirming stance my growing-up congregation was open and affirming.  We knew very well that some of our members were gay.  In fact, our choir director was openly gay.  Did we care?  OK, a couple of people cared.  Did they presume to judge?  Naw.  As I've learned throughout my travels and visits to many UCC churches, they tend to care less about sexual orientation than about social justice.

One church may emphasize social justice for GLBTs, another on immigrant rights.  Some are large enough to have programs for many issues, others just one or two. 

I've yet to see one where judging others and making them unwelcome was an issue that was supported.

Say!  Here's a phrase that may be useful for you when you call:

"I'm interested in the UCC.  I see that you are not listed as being Open and Affirming.  How accepting is your congregation of GLBT people?"

Hope this helps.

Emailed the pastor of a UCC. He said that he personally agrees with the UCC's welcoming of gays and he'd like me to attend and afterwards have a talk with him. He said though that there are some conservatives who attend there who might be uncomforable with an openly gay person. Well I guess that's OK, I'm not overwhelmingly gay acting so I should be alright. And the best thing is that the pastor himself is accepting. I believe I will attend this Sunday and give it a try. I have a really good feeling about it.

Your Brother In Christ,

Josh

Hi Josh,

I must say that I am very impressed by your posts. You seem to be a very intelligent, intuitive, and clear-thinking young person. I am very glad that you are able to be open and honest about your sexual orientation with your parents and with others. I am also happy that you have come to the correct conclusion that God made you who you are and that He loves you as you are.

So many others take much more time to realize this. Like me, for instance. I am a gay 28 year old male college graduate who was pretty much driven from my church when I was about 21, because they found out I was friends with someone who was friends with someone who was gay. This was before I was ever even admitting to myself that I'm gay. I have spent all the time since then trying to run from a close relationship with God, in the fear that that relationship would mean I would have to "give up" being gay and would force me to pretend to be someone I am not. Fortunately, after living a very rough and dark life for about 7 years, God is bringing me back to Him. I saw the UCC's ads on tv and it just hit me. It was like God had put that ad before me and said to me, "See, Look, I love you." It's wonderful.

Anyway, you are very blessed to have had this realization sooner and it lifts my spirit to hear of a younger person doing so well. I pray that you are successful in finding the church that best fits your needs. By the way, as far as the Bible and homosexuality, there is a good book I recently ordered called "Calling the Rainbow Nation Home" by E T Sundby. E T Sundby is a homosexual female minister. In the book, she talks about her journey to God and her realization that it is okay to be gay. She addresses many of the passages in the Bible that people use to put down gays and sheds new light on them. I really like having my beliefs backed up scripturally and logically and she does this very well. You might want to check it out sometime. I found it helpful anyway.

Well, sorry this is soooo long. That's what I get for being an English Literature major in college, lol. God bless you!

William 

Hey William don't worry my first post on here was twice as lon, lol. Yeah I give much of the credit for my coming to terms with my sexuality on a wonderful site called http://www.gaychristian.net/ The creator's name is Justin Lee and he was raised southern baptist and had a hard time being gay while he was so overwhelmingly christian raised. This site is incredible, it has a fun message board where gay christians talk about anything from bible discussion to pop culture. Plus there is a little radio show that Justin and this other guy named Brian do every Friday (you can get it as a podcast it's called GCN Radio). Also there are many speeches, articles (including the great debate I am side A, Justin's article alone brought on my way back to God) I just wanted to let you all know that this is an incredible website with lots of resources and fun too. I will check out that book you recomended, there is another one like that that is well written too. It is called The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence of Same-Sex Relationships it's was written by the pastor of a MCC in Indiana, it's a really good book too. Well thanks for all the replies and God bless you all!!

Your Brother in Christ,

Josh

Hi Josh,

Thanks for recommending that website. I checked it out and I think it is a very good site, as is this one. That's another thing I really like about these sites - I can discover all sorts of new resources that I might not have been able to find otherwise. As far as the great debate goes, I'm with you on side A. I have been in a wonderfully loving, completely monogamous relationship with a guy for a little over 3 years now. We even had a private ceremony 2 years ago this July. Unfortunately, it's not legal (kentucky does not recognize gay marriages) but that is not what matters. I believe God sees it as a "real" marriage and we each see it that way, so who cares what others think. I will also check out the book you recommended. It sounds interesting and relevant and I love to read.  Thanks and God bless you.

William 

Hi Everyone,

I attended that UCC's service today. I loved it! I felt welcomed everyone was so nice and kind! The pastor knew who I was as soon as I told him my name and he said he'd like to meet with me and talk sometime. The service was actually quite similar to the catholic church's except not quite as ritual like. The sermon part was the best. It was about how you are to love EVERYONE even your enemies. He also addressed the sterotypes of minorities including blacks, asians, and homosexuals and he said we are supposed to LOVE them (he said homosexuals are always thought of as perverted) he said we are commiting a horrible sin by not loving ALL our neighbors as ourselves. It was a wonderful service and I enjoyed it. They even have a youth group that I am going to attend, it's best though not to reveal my sexuality unless asked directly (in which case I wouldn't deny it) he said there are a few who would be uncomfortable around an openly gay person, but he did say if they ask me straight forward, not to deny it. I really am glad I tried this church and I'm sure I will be attending regulary (including youth group and maybe choir). I am grateful to God for giveing me the courage to contact the church and for giving me the strength to show up, and for guiding me to a church where I am not condemned. I also thank you guys on here too. You have been here for me since the first day I became interested in the UCC. And I am quite sure this will be my church for a very long time. Thank you all.

Your Brother In Christ,

Josh

Josh, I'm delighted you've found a supportive community. We continue to hold you in our prayers, and we'll add the pastor and congregation of your new chuch as well!

Thanks for being here with us, and we hope you'll continue to participate actively here. We've learned a lot from what you've told us about your spiritual journey, and we certainly would welcome you in our Bible study and online inquirer's class ("What's the UCC?")

Andy Lang

I'm glad you found a community you can feel at home in.