I'm always reminded in discussions such as this of the hymn, "They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love*" because I firmly believe it to be true.

One of my favorite posters I have seen put out by the UCC is the one that says: "If Jesus Embraced Lepers, Prostitutes and Convicts, Shouldn't We?"

If the UCC could be reduced to soundbites, I believe these two statements truly epitomize the UCC quite aptly.

Of course, I don't mean to imply that gays and lesbians are in any way criminal, but certainly they are outcasts in today's society: victims of social injustice. The fact that the UCC recognizes this and strives to overcome it is why the UCC is the right choice for me - and my kids, and my kids' kids. Because THAT is what Jesus would do.

(*hymn written by Peter Scholtes and sometimes aditional words and music by Carolyn Arends)

I am saddened that you say you have no church to call your own.   Since this thread is about parenting, I can only say (and I mean this with love), that I hope you are raising your children in a church.    Worshipping in the body doesn't require that you agree with everything, but you should find a church that resonates with you and makes your spirit leap and makes you wake up on Sunday morning excited to go.  

While I completely disagree with your stance, I respect that if a particular church is not working for you, you should find another.

With that said, I cannot ignore your scripture references without comment.   I hope this can be a sacred conversation.   I respect, as you say, that each of us must draw their own conclusion and must live according to their own best understanding of truth.

I want to restate that the issue of respecting the right of homosexuals to marry is a Social issue, not a moral issue.   The church says that all are welcome wherever they are on their spiritual journey.   And welcome means share your life with us, including when you marry.   How unfair is it that heterosexual couples who might never attend church, who might not seek relationship with God at all, can come to  a Justice of the Peace and be married, while a homosexual couple who may have had great spiritual lives, have dedicated thousands of hours to a church, have truly sought God as best they can are not allowed to marry.

That the church supports equal rights for a minority should not be offensive, it should be celebrated.   And I'm sure there were people who left the church when women were given equal rights (against the recommendation of scripture), but when we read the overall message of scripture (not a small number of specific verses) this is reasonable and it matches our experience that there is no impact of gender on one's ability to have a spiritual life.

And when we accept the TRUTH that gender does not matter to spiritual TRUTH, then we must apply this to marriage as well as we have applied this to the rights of women.

"Go forth and multiply" -  The bible does say this.   But this does not prevent a young couple who has no intention of having children from getting married.   This does not prevent an older couple who have found love (long after their child bearing years) from getting married.    This does not prevent a woman (who is unable to conceive for medical reasons) from getting married.   And I would dare say that if you interrupted any of the above ceremonies saying that the marriage was not according to God's plan because of "Go forth and multiply", it would be very offensive.

"She was created for him" -  The actual passage is The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."   The argument that because Adam and Eve were man and woman, therefore all couples should be man and woman is not reasonable.    That would be the same as saying all children should be twins because Cain and Abel (first children) were twins.    I believe that love and the ability to love comes very specifically when the right person finds the right person.   The fact that Eve was right for Adam that doesn't mean that you know who God planned to be right for me.

At this point in history, there are very few churches that treat homosexuals with respect.   They have very few options of where to go to worship and raise their children (or themselves) in a way that resonates with their understanding of spiritual truth.   Be glad that the UCC is one of the churches and if you cannot bear it, then find another church because you have a thousand options.   And not one of them will ever tell your child that "God hates you".   But so many of them would tell my daughter that, so please respectfully understand that even though this issue makes you uncomfortable, it is so much more important to the people who live it.